Top Ten Reasons Why Kasim Should Play In Toronto
By Melissa McIvor

• Because we probably won't get the Olympics.
• Because my husband is tone deaf and listens to bagpipe music, my brother-in-law sings country and western, and I need an antidote to avoid blowing my brains out.
• Because I have known how to pronounce your name correctly since 1980.
• Because I have been a fan even longer than that.
• Because it's lonely being a Utopia freak in a blue-collar town. (That sounds like something my brother-in-law would sing...)
• Because despite my worship of all things Rundgren, you were always my favourite Utopian.
• Because the closest I have come to seeing a live show in the past is almost wearing out my copy of "An Evening with Utopia".
• Because I won't part with my vintage copy of "Kasim" even though I hear it is going for $60 U.S. on E-Bay.
• Because being paid in Canadian dollars will make you feel rich (that it, until you re-cross the border and realize that your fistful of Canuck bucks won't even get you a decent snack at the local Krispy Kreme...).
• Because my husband says that if I play one more song by Utopia, or by any former members of Utopia, or which includes any former members of Utopia, or, for that matter, is by any person who has ever even heard of Utopia, he will force me to listen to "Amazing Grace" until I beg for mercy.
• Because other than collecting missing bits of Utopia and Utopia-related stuff, the only music I have purchased in the last year is "ABBA Gold" - and that's just too pathetic for words.
• Because my husband's favourite album that doesn't include any military marching songs is "Bat Out Of Hell" (I have tried to convince him that that makes him ALMOST a Utopia fan, by pointing out the number of former Utopians on the liner notes).
• Because this might just get me a ride to your gig if I tell him that we are going to see "sort of Meatloaf".
• Because you will be able to spot my husband easily the moment you come out on stage as he will be the one who jumps up, points and shrieks "Wait a minute! That's not Meatloaf! That's the guy on your SCREENSAVER!"
• Because walking home afterwards would be a small price to pay.
• Because this is the closest thing to a fan letter that I have ever written.

I Hate That Frickin' Todd CD

The reason that she bought it
Is the reason that I hate it
It's got a hook that keeps her baited
Seems she just cannot be sated
And my darling wife has locked me
Into a TV Dinner monotony
Because some rocker dude has blocked me out
And I wait
And I wait

And I hate that frickin' Todd CD
Even worse - those battered old LPs
And I'll never get back, never get back
The time that I wait
And that's what I hate...

It's just so hard to swallow
That she ignores me for these fellows
I'm tired of living in this squalor
And she's developed quite a pallor
She's got no time left to vaccuum
And there is nothing left to consume
I just had to clean my own bathroom
And dinner's so late
'Cause she's late...

And I hate that frickin' Todd CD
She ain't got no free time left for me
And I'll never get back, never get back
The time that she wastes
And that's what I hate...

She's had that CD on now
For twenty hours straight
I've been a patient husband but that's
As much as I can take
And now she's cut me off
And spent her weekly take home pay
[on more Utopia stuff...]
And now I hate it, I hate it
I hate I hate I hate I hate

I hate that frickin' Todd CD
She's had her headphones on for the last three weeks
And I'll never get back, never get back
The time that she wastes
And that's what I hate...

And finally, because it would just be really, really cool to see you perform in person after all these years!

Wishing you best of luck with the shows, in any event! (Would say "break a leg" but, hey, been there, done that, right?)
Melissa McIvor